Satisfying the Mary and Martha In Me

 I am continually torn between the two hungers inside of me: the physical and the spiritual.  I must eat and take care of this body of mine (and other little bodies), but I have a deep longing inside to read and write and think.  So many times I resent the time spent in the kitchen, yet shouldn't I treasure that time with my family?  Dinner especially, can be a treasured time when we not only feed our bodies, but in our conversations, we feed our spirits and our intellects and strengthen family relationships.  So many times I see it as a hurdle to jump so that I may move on to what I would rather be doing.  In my heart, I know that I must embrace this time and make it count.  Dinner time builds families.

So, in that spirit, I moved my computer into the kitchen right next to the stove today.  I have read so many books over the stove, I decided that writing can happen there as well.  I am going to satisfy both needs at the same time.  If I wait for a more opportune time to write, it may never come.  I can think about what I would like to write while my hands are busy, and then while I wait for the timer, I can work bit by bit on my revisions.  It must work.  This need, this hunger, is real and I must satisfy it.

In Teacher In America, Jacques Barzun wrote,

"Whereas the very essence of thought is continuity, the very essence of domestic life is interruption.  If a young woman dared disconnect the doorbell, smash the phone, and gag the baby, she might be able to read a book or think a thought; but with a duty toward everybody but herself, her mind necessarily reverts to the feral [survival] state.  It is not a matter of intelligence or good will or even energy, but of hourly preoccupation.  Robinson Crusoe would have a better chance of remaining cultivated alone on his island than a young married woman of modest income in a three-room flat within a stone's throw of museums, concerts, and public libraries."

I would laugh at this statement if it did not hurt so much.  It is true.  Yet, Mr. Barzun, we young women must cultivate ourselves anyway.  The hunger must be met, not in spite of the baby, but FOR the baby's sake.  It is the mothers who cultivate the children.  They must be fed intellectually, spiritually, and physically first--or the children will not have much of a mother, at least not a happy and fulfilled mother.



I love the story of Mary and Martha.  It reminds me to choose what is needful and to try not to get "careful and troubled," but it also teaches me that I must have a balance between the two.  Women must absorb all of the light and truth that they can and then they must serve and feed those who are hungry.  When this flow is not hindered but really allowed to move through her, she finds real happiness and fulfillment.  She is the vessel that holds this light and goodness, but only for a moment.  She then releases it for others.  As she does, she fills again.  An interruption in this flow can lead to despair and despondency.  To hold it means to lose it.  To give more than she takes in leads to exhaustion.  The right balance between the two leads to joy. (Sculture is by Annette W. Everett.)

So, I feel better now at having said that!  Now, what should I make for dinner???